You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
