Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
