Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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