we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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