Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
