We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
