She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My bed smells like the plague
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
