Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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