all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
