It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize