He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The Olympian is in my bed
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
