Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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