Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
