Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize