His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
