he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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