No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
