i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
