the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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