I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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