beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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