$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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