I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize