if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
