Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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