I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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