It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
