Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize