she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
