Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
