You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
