ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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