Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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