I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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