You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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