My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
