I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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