i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
