I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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