And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize