why didn't you poke me back
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
