There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
