he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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