U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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