Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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