Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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