Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
