We won't sleep together?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
