I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
