RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
