do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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