i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
