love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
