Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
