just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
