I must be too annoying 4 u.
Will you blow on my dice?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
