that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
