Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
