I CAN MOONWALK!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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