The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
