New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
